I'm on the phone, talking to my friend Angela. I've had such a hard week! First, my new boyfriend (who I thought might be The One) bought me a bicycle for a birthday present (AWFUL!!!) and then I spent all day yesterday on a TikTok video that might not even go viral! I'm glad we're going out for dinner tonight, to relax and have a really good talk about all our traumatic experiences. I tell her to come in when she arrives - the door's open and I need to take a few selfies of my new outfit. But it's not her who comes in at all! It's a man who wants to take me prisoner and hold me for ransom!...

I'm on the phone, talking to my friend Angela. I've had such a hard week! First, my new boyfriend (who I thought might be The One) bought me a bicycle for a birthday present (AWFUL!!!) and then I spent all day yesterday on a TikTok video that might not even go viral! I'm glad we're going out for dinner tonight, to relax and have a really good talk about all our traumatic experiences. I tell her to come in when she arrives - the door's open and I need to take a few selfies of my new outfit. But it's not her who comes in at all! It's a man who wants to take me prisoner and hold me for ransom! He clamps one hand over my mouth, and the next thing I know, I'm securely tied to a chair with ropes everywhere! At least he hasn't cut off my clothes - I simply couldn't bear that, and the last man who snatched me absolutely ruined an expensive jacket. I struggle and struggle, but it turns out to be almost impossible to escape. Well, not *almost* actually. Totally impossible omg! He soon comes back to gag me even though I promise not to make any noise. How rude! So now I'm ballgagged and tied to a chair in my knee high leather boots, tight black jeans, floppy hat and peasant top. It's sooooo irritating.

Then it's time for me to call my step-dad to provide the ransom. Urgh, it's all so demeaning. The man makes me ask my step-dad for £2M, and then he covers my mouth with his hand again, before gagging me with the ballgag. Again! I'm so sick of this; is it even clean?? And do I have to get captured like this on such a regular basis? It's hard being a famous millionaire socialite!