Part 1 - 'White Belt Gooner' available here.

Part 2 - 'Orange Belt Gooner' available here.

Part 3 - 'Blue Belt Gooner' available here.

Welcome back, ...

Part 1 - 'White Belt Gooner' available here.

Part 2 - 'Orange Belt Gooner' available here.

Part 3 - 'Blue Belt Gooner' available here.

Welcome back, budding gooner. Are you ready for the next stage of your training? So far, you’ve learned about living in the present, switching off your brain and visually appearing like the gooner that you long to be. Today, we will be focussing on the audio side of gooning - that is, to ensure whilst you goon, you sound just the way a gooner should. From heavy breathing to moaning and groaning as you blissfully goon away your existence, you will sound like the perfect obedient mindless gooning zombie I’m moulding you into. You won’t even notice or care about who is around and who might hear because by now, thanks to my guidance, you will be so consumed by gooning you will have switched your mind off and be totally oblivious to your surroundings. Consumed completely by the euphoric high that only gooning can bring to you.