Your beta dick is so small that normal methods of masturbation just don't work for you. You literally have nothing to stroke!
And obviously, no woman wants that microscopic excuse for a dick.
Ew gross. So, finding the very best method of masturbation is crucial for a sexless reject like you and lucky for you I have that information. But like, obviously I can't tell you for free! No, no, no. It is soooo much funnier to make you pay to learn how to hump your little Shrimp!

Your beta dick is so small that normal methods of masturbation just don't work for you. You literally have nothing to stroke!
And obviously, no woman wants that microscopic excuse for a dick.
Ew gross. So, finding the very best method of masturbation is crucial for a sexless reject like you and lucky for you I have that information. But like, obviously I can't tell you for free! No, no, no. It is soooo much funnier to make you pay to learn how to hump your little Shrimp!