I'm cleaning out an old purse, when suddenly I hear a tiny little voice. At first, I think I'm imagining it, but then my eyes land on something. It's YOU! I shrank you a few months ago, took you shopping and then, when I'd spent all your money, I completely forgot about you. Oops! I'm quite shocked that you're still alive, to be honest. I guess that rogue pack of saltines in my purse were enough to sustain you lol.

I'm guessing nobody even missed you while you were gone, you poor, lonely thing. Actually, I can think of someone who might have come looking for you: the credit card compa...

I'm cleaning out an old purse, when suddenly I hear a tiny little voice. At first, I think I'm imagining it, but then my eyes land on something. It's YOU! I shrank you a few months ago, took you shopping and then, when I'd spent all your money, I completely forgot about you. Oops! I'm quite shocked that you're still alive, to be honest. I guess that rogue pack of saltines in my purse were enough to sustain you lol.

I'm guessing nobody even missed you while you were gone, you poor, lonely thing. Actually, I can think of someone who might have come looking for you: the credit card companies! Remember how much fun we had when I maxed out all of your credit cards? I'm guessing they want payment, which, frankly, isn't my problem. It's YOURS. This has got me thinking: how hilarious would it be if I you to go back to regular, human size? Then you'd have to face the music and find a way to pay back the thousands upon thousands of dollars I racked up in your name. I'm guessing you no longer have a job since you've been gone so long. Hahaha! Can I be this cruel?