Babe, we have to talk. Ever since we started living together, I feel like you think I'm your step-mom or something. I know you haven't lived with anyone else besides me and your parents, so you're used to them cleaning up after you. But that isn't how our relationship is going to work. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I will not clean up another one of your crusty, nasty, cummy messes. You've ruined so many of my nice little towels and I'm sick of it!

Therefore, if you want to continue this relationship, I am going to have to institute a new rule. Every time you feel the ne...

Babe, we have to talk. Ever since we started living together, I feel like you think I'm your step-mom or something. I know you haven't lived with anyone else besides me and your parents, so you're used to them cleaning up after you. But that isn't how our relationship is going to work. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I will not clean up another one of your crusty, nasty, cummy messes. You've ruined so many of my nice little towels and I'm sick of it!

Therefore, if you want to continue this relationship, I am going to have to institute a new rule. Every time you feel the need to rub one out, you are also going to have to eat every drop of gooey, sticky, hot jizz that comes out. That's the only way I can ever see this relationship lasting. Come on, it's not so bad. Let's do your first one together. I'm worth it right?