I discovered a new way to metabolize people more efficiently to where I can eat multiple people without getting full and having to wait to digest first. So I have a big plan. Today is the neighborhood block party and I'm excited to see how many people I can eat in one sitting. How will I eat so many without anyone noticing? Easy, I spiked the punch with napping pills. They won't know whats happening.

I get ready for the party, set up my punch and make my way to the street for the party, I'm new to town so I'm already drawing the friendly neighbors my way (people implied). Within mi...

I discovered a new way to metabolize people more efficiently to where I can eat multiple people without getting full and having to wait to digest first. So I have a big plan. Today is the neighborhood block party and I'm excited to see how many people I can eat in one sitting. How will I eat so many without anyone noticing? Easy, I spiked the punch with napping pills. They won't know whats happening.

I get ready for the party, set up my punch and make my way to the street for the party, I'm new to town so I'm already drawing the friendly neighbors my way (people implied). Within minutes my punch is completely gone. In total 35 people were foolish enough to trust a stranger.

As they all start to get wary I offer my couches, chairs and house for them to get some rest before returning home. They all oblige and come in. All I have to do is wait for them to fall resting and then I'll strike. As I'm finishing up and belching up a storm, patting myself on the back for a job well done, I hear the footsteps approaching the door. Did I forget someone?

I open the door and it's an officer, concerned for the whereabouts of the people of the neighborhood. I put on my sweetest demeanor but my belches get the better of me. They just can't be stopped. Luckily the cop seems to enjoy my gas show and I invite him in, give him a show and he starts to get flirty. I make the move and gobble him up before he can even process it.

Finally, I sit on the couch proud of myself that I ate 36 people today, without the hassle of having to chain up my leftovers in the basement. I start to plan for my next dinner in the next couple of months, wonder if people will catch on that I'm the only person left on the block and burp out the last of my gas. What a great night it's was.