Society is being ravaged by a pandemic...but the pandemic is VIRGINITY! The anti-virgin party has full control over the media, and thus all of society! Virgin hate is spreading through propaganda, your masturbation habits are being closely monitored, and you’re tired of it! Then I come along, leading the pro-virgin rebellion! You MUST pledge to remain a virgin for Me, for there is power in numbers! Only I have the power to hack the airwaves and push My pro virgin mind-fuckery! In order to break down the hatred of the anti-virgin party, I declare November 5th (remember, remember the 5th of N...

Society is being ravaged by a pandemic...but the pandemic is VIRGINITY! The anti-virgin party has full control over the media, and thus all of society! Virgin hate is spreading through propaganda, your masturbation habits are being closely monitored, and you’re tired of it! Then I come along, leading the pro-virgin rebellion! You MUST pledge to remain a virgin for Me, for there is power in numbers! Only I have the power to hack the airwaves and push My pro virgin mind-fuckery! In order to break down the hatred of the anti-virgin party, I declare November 5th (remember, remember the 5th of November?) THE day for a WORLDWIDE STROKE-A -THON to My hot clips! This will unite ALL virgins and non-virgins for good, and there will be no turning back! You’re a virgin, a useful little pawn to help spread My pro-virgin message...and what an honor it is to be of use to Me!